Adult Jokes
Welcome to the adult jokes section for One Black Goat. We
have compiled the funniest adult jokes on the web and
will continue to find more funny jokes to make you laugh.
One day 2 leprochans were having an argument. So they they went to
a convent and they rang the doorbell. When the nun came out one of
the leprochans asked her "sister, are there any nuns my size
here?" She replied "no little leprochan, there are no nuns here
your size" he then said "Oh....well, are there any nuns any where
in the world my size?" she then replies "no little leprochan,
there aren't any nuns in the world your size" he then thanked her
ans she shut the door. The other leprochan started to crack up
laughing and said "haha u stupid bastard, i told u that you fucked
a penguin!".
What do Michael Jackson and cavier have in common?
They both come on little white crackers.
A pregnant women gets caught up in a bank raid and gets shot in the
stomach 3 times. she survives, but the doctors say that each of
her children will pee out a bullet when they are older.
She has 3 childrenm 2 girls and a boy. When her first daughter is
6 she runs to her mum and says "mummy mummy i wee weed out a bullet".
Her mum replies "its ok darling". When her second daughter is nine
she shouts to her mum and says "mum i peed out a bullet". She
replies "thats ok".
When her son is 13 he runs down the stairs and "shouts mum mum".
She says calmly, "I know you peed out a bullet". He says "no i was
having a wank and i shot the dog!".
An old couple were sitting in their living room on a Sunday
morning watching a religious program. The preacher on this show
would go to all the people in the audience and asking them what
they wanted fixed, then he would have them cover the part of their
body they wanted fixed.
Many of the people were elderly so they were covering their eyes
and hearts. Then the preacher said "Ok now for you at home put
your hand on the part of your body you want fixed and say this
prayer with me."
So the little old lady put her hand on her heart, because she had
a very bad heart. And the little old man put his hands on his
crotch.
The little old lady turned to her husband and said "He said he
could heal the sick, not raise the dead!"
A husband and wife had been fighting for 3-4 days. The next
morning they got up and were still not talking. The wife broke the
silence by saying she had a dream last night. The husband asked her about what.
She said she had a dream she was at an auction. They were
auctioning off penises. The little ones went for $500 and the big
ones went for $1000.
The husband throws out his chest and curiously asked what one like
his went for. His wife told him bluntly that they were giving them
away as door prizes!
Her husband non-chalantly brushes this aside and tell his wife
that " I had a dream last night too. They were auctioning off
pussys. The loose ones went for $500 and the tight ones went for
$1000.
The wife, not quite thinking he would come back at her asked him
how much one like hers sold for.
Sell? They didn't sell yours... where in the hell do you think
they held the auction!
A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road.
He stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in
and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely
leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthfully slid his hand up her
leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father, remember
psalm 129?"
The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced
himself to remove his hand. However, he was unable to remove his
eyes from her leg.
Further on while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg
again. The nun once again Said, "Father, remember psalm 129?" Once
again the priest apologized. "Sorry sister, but the flesh is weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun got out, gave him a meaningful
glance, and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a
bible and looked up psalm 129. It Said, "Go forth and seek,
further up, you will find glory."
MORAL OF THE STORY: Always be well informed in your job, or you
might miss a great opportunity!
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jokes, online games, babes, articles and flash cartoons, I repeat,
very high levels of amusing
jokes, online games, babes, articles and flash cartoons. Regular doses
may in fact cause entertainment!