Not Worth A Squiz


Commercial Drive provides the best airport parking Tullamarine at Melbourne Airport. They have secure indoor and outdoor parking and a few shuttle to the terminal, only 5 minutes away.

Got a swimming pool but don't want it any more? It's not exactly something you can sell on ebay. What you need is a remove pool service to fill in your old swimming pool. Pools can be converted into underground water storage tanks and the ground in your yard converted to a garden, paved area or an exciting landscape design. A must for all you aquaphobes out there!

Print Management - Want to design a funny tshirt like the ones we made for One Black Goat? For this, or any other types of printing requirements check out HMS Print Management.

Adidas Trainers - The latest range of Adidas Originals trainers is available online from Yukka.

Blue Waffle

Super Funny Website | Jokes Pictures | Cool Stuff
Funny iPhone Stories That Are True

The iPhone is slowly taking over the world, but with total domination comes some amusing occurrences. Here are 5 funny iPhone stories that are unbelievably true!

1. The man who was nearly killed by his iPhone

American fitness freak Travis Gohr had a near fatal experience with his mobile phone. Mr Gohr was running on a treadmill as he did most mornings when his iPhone fell off, hit the surface of the treadmill and was flung back towards him. The phone hit him in the head at a considerable speed, causing him to lose balance and fall off the moving treadmill. The man suffered lacerations to his back and was nearly knocked out cold. Makes me think that an Apple a day does NOT keep the doctor away!!

2. The woman who got pregnant because of an iPhone app

Lena Bryce (not surprisingly another American) had been trying to conceive for four years, but had been unsuccessful. Then 2 months after downloading the Menstrual Calendar app on her iPhone she became pregnant. The iPhone app tells women when they are most fertile and it obviously did the trick. Lena named her baby daughter Lola, although maybe she should have taken a leaf out of Gwyneth Paltrow's book and called her Apple. OMG two apple jokes in a row, that's lame!

3. The teenage girl who sent 300,000 texts in a month

A teenager from Sacramento sent more than 300,000 text messages in one month, and surprisingly, she doesn't have arthritis yet! Maybe thanks to the touch screen system. Crystal Wiski sent an average 10,000 text messages per day, which is 421 messages an hour, and 7 texts a minute! "I get cramps" she told One Black Goat. Can't complain though, I love a girl who is good with her fingers! We never found out just how much her phone bill cost. If she had unlimited texting I'm sure she would have been getting pretty close to breaching the providers Fair Go policy!

4. The orchestra that uses iPhones instead of instruments

The Apple iPhone has become the musical instrument of choice for a university orchestra in Detroit, Michigan. The ensemble has foregone using normal instruments in their orchestra in favour of musical applications downloaded to their iPhones. The iPhones are attached to speakers and provide a combination of familiar and weird sounds. The instruments also use the phone's GPS and digital compass which are built in, and detect which way the phone is being held to produce a certain note specific to whether it's being shaken or tipped. Ah the future!

5. The man who survived the Haiti earthquake thanks to his iPhone

The Dan Wooley was making a movie in Haiti when the devestating earthquake struck the poverty-stricken region. The US filmmaker was crushed by a pile of rubble but learnt how to treat his wounds using an iPhone first-aid app. Called Pocket First Aid and CPR the app gave him instructions on how to make a bandage and tourniquet for his leg, and how to stop the bleeding from a wound on his head.

 
Random Animal Facts


Here at One Black Goat we aren't just about the goats. We also like to crap on about other animals too. Check out these weird and wonderful animal facts:

  • A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
  • Penguins can jump 6 feet in the air.
  • Kangaroos and emus cannot walk backwards.
  • Beavers can hold their breathe for 45 minutes under water.
  • The smallest bird in the world is the Humming Bird. It weighs less than 1 gram.
  • Elephants are the only animal that can't jump. Fat fucks!
  • A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
  • Flamingos are pink because shrimp is one of their main sources of food.
  • Reindeer eat moss because it contains a chemical that stops their body from freezing.
  • The coyote's scientific name (Canis Latrans) means 'barking dog'.
  • Snakes can see through their eyelids.
  • A Woodpecker can peck 20 times per second.
  • The praying mantis is the only insect that can turn its head 360 degrees.
  • Butterflies tast sensors are in their feet. They taste their food by standing on it.
  • Katydids have ears in their front legs.
  • The strongest animal in the world is the rhinoceros beetle. It can lift 850 times its own weight.
  • The slowest mammal on earth is the tree sloth. It only moves at a speed of 6 feet (1.83 meters) per minute.
  • A dingo did not create the cheap web design company website. Neither did a fly!
  • The Chameleon can focus its eyes seperately to watch two objects at once.
  • Flamingos eat with their heads upside down to strain the water out of their food.
  • Australia's black bulldog ant is the most dangerous ant in the world. It bites and stings at the same time and has killed humans.
  • A hippopotamus can stay under water for up to 30 minutes.
  • Armadillos, opossums and sloths spend up to 80 percent of their lives sleeping. So do unemployed people.
  •  
    Midgets and Dwarfs Uncovered

    Midgets and dwarfs are well known across the entire world and everyone has had an experience with the "little people" at some time in their lives. But far fewer people actually know the difference between these two small phenonmenons, which is why it's time more people did.

    Dwarfism is most commonly caused by achondroplasia, which results in disproportionately sized arms and legs. Officially, the term "dwarf" is generally used to describe a person with a medical or genetic condition resulting in an adult height of 4'10" or less.

    The term "midget" is sometimes used to describe a proportionate dwarf. In other words, midgets are proportionately small all round. Since it has bad associations with old circus freak shows, the term is not very politically correct these days. This doesn't alter the fact that there are some amazing midget facts, which I will present to you now:

  • If You Are Under 5 Foot Tall, Then You Are Legally A Midget.
  • When Midgets Reach 30 They grow Rapidly, It Is Not Known Why.
  • You Can Fit Over A Hundred Midgets In A Mini.
  • A Midgets Genitalia Are The Same Size As Tall Persons, So Ratio Wise They Are Huge.
  • The Shortest Man In The World Is India's Gul Mohammed, Height Is 22 Inches Tall.
  • Apparently Midgets Hate Been Called, Shorty, Midget, Titch, Squirt, Action Man, Polly Pocket, Gary Coleman, Mini
  • Most Midgets refuse To Wear Childrens Clothes, Therefore They Spend Hundreds Of Pounds, On Having Clothes Made For Them.
  • A Midget Eats As Much Food As A Normal Man, But Cant Eat As Much At One Time.
  • Midgets Suck At Basketball!!!
  •  
    << Start < Prev 1 2 Next > End >>

    Page 1 of 2

    Polls

    One Black Goat is
     

    Property is No Laughing Matter


    If you DO have too much time on your hands it might be time to go on a holiday. Beach holidays are always fun, so maybe hire out a Portland property and chill out by the water. If you don't live in Melbourne, Australia it might be a bit of a hike for you. Unless you live near Portland, United States which in that case, go to Florida!

    Fundraising Ideas

    If you're reading this site, chances are you're a lazy unemployed slob! Which means you need to make some cash and fast. Unless you're living in your parents basement then in that case don't read on. But if you're looking to raise some extra cash, why not try fundraising? We have several great ideas for fundraising that you can try as an individual or part of a club or organisation. You may get called a 'charity' case, but then if you're rolling in the moolah, who cares?

    Who's Online

    We have 1 guest online
    One Black Goat, Powered by Temerity Web Design Company and Expert SEO